How My Style has Changed Over the Years as a Christian

There’s a lot of expectation in the Christian community for women to dress a certain way. Modesty is biblical – yet I know different women with different backgrounds interpret modesty differently. We all have a unique expectation of what a modest woman dresses like.

Honestly, that’s okay. Some women wear clothes that cover themselves completely but they wear form-fitting styles. Some of us have fallen in love with blending comfort and fashion in fairly flowy, oversized pieces. Both of these styles represent modesty.

I think issues arise in Christian communities when modestly dressed women are still objectified by men. I personally think a woman can choose what is most comfortable for her while wearing a range of modest styles. Alas, I’ve seen Christian men – not godly men – critique a woman for wearing skinny jeans. Yet, as a woman, I think high-waisted skinny jeans can be very tasteful.

And then there’s the issue I’ve faced: I wear primarily oversized styles. My daily “look” consists of wide leg pants or wide leg jeans with a half-tucked sweater. I often layer a long cardigan over this look in the winter and an oversized denim jacket in the summer. For shoes, I usually wear white sneakers, mules, or booties. Most of my shoes are hyper-feminine and that, to me, balances out an otherwise loose-fitting outfit. I often accessorize with sparkly earrings and a sparkly yet simple necklace. I like sparkles.

Despite not being able to see the curves of my body underneath my clothes, I still have received lustful comments. In one of my most recent videos, I talk about beating lust while wearing an oversized cardigan with a collared rib-knit sweater. And, while telling people how to beat lust (hint: loving others replaces our desire to lust over them & Jesus teaches us how to love), I was told that my “video did the opposite of what it was supposed to.” Like BRUH. I am dressed like freakin’ Mr. Rogers x Pinterest girl and that’s what you comment?

This made me realize that a woman can dress modestly even though men will still lust after her. It also made me realize that the Bible has us dress modestly because our intention should be to focus on inner kindness, strength, gentleness, and the Fire of the Holy Spirit.

We are told to dress modestly to convey our intentions to others – “I am not trying to show off or impress anyone.” True modesty is humility. It is less about sexual intention and more about not flaunting our physical appearances.

God conveys to us in Scripture that He cares about our hearts, not our outward appearances (1 Samuel 16:7).

As women of God, we are expected to understand that modesty is a reflection of the heart and can be expressed through fashion. However, we don’t dress modest to help men avoid being lustful. That is their own sin they must work at when repenting alongside Jesus.

Men’s lust is NOT our job to be mindful of. And, men will lust at women even when they have no skin showing or their curves are hidden under fabric.

So, as I share with you how my style has changed over the years, know that my values shifted from:

trendiness
flattering my figure in a way that showed it off
HEELS to seem extra-extra tall (instead of the usual “oh, you’re tall”)
boldness & trying to look extra fashionable, wanting to “turn heads”
wearing the latest jewelry & makeup trends

to falling in love with Jesus and instead focusing on:

comfort & work appropriateness
the ability to go from work to home to a walk in a temperature-appropriate outfit
not slipping on slick surfaces (lol I hardly wear heels ever anymore!)
flattering my figure in regards to color and balance (certain materials and shapes hold more visual weight than others)
wearing things that add a touch of sparkle to my everyday looks (I have always loved to sparkle ever since I was little!) and wearing makeup only when I feel like it and know it will feel therapeutic to put on. This brings me extra joy throughout the day.

I also keep my mental health in mind with each outfit. For example, PMS and being on my period always affect what I wear. I optimize for comfort and practicality during this time of the month.

Here are some current pictures that I feel represent my current style. And yes, I enjoy the art and balance of fashion still. It is not an idol. God comes first – hence the less “sexy” outfits lol